Dirty Little Secrets

In the spirit of full disclosure: 

-Watching "The Bachelor/ette" makes me believe in love, even knowing how cheesy and fake and contrived it is. Ditto romantic comedies and occasional engagement ring/baby commercials. 

-I get a lot of very shallow, bitchy satisfaction from the fact that my ACT score is higher than every one of my ex-boyfriends. 

-One day right before I left my old Big 4 job, I was the only one at a client site, so I gave myself a manicure and watched "The Biggest Loser" for like three hours. And still left at 4pm. 

-I accidentally stole a book from my college bookstore once. I was reading it there between classes, ended up running late and, without thinking, popped it in my backpack and left. I did go back and return it...but only after I finished it. 

-When I get stressed, impatient or distracted, I pick and scrape at my cuticles and the skin around my thumbnails, sometimes until my hands bleed. I don't know why, but I've done it my whole life and it never really seems to stop no matter how hard I try. 

-Lately I've been terrified that I'm unlovable and doomed to die alone, not just in a sad post-breakup way, but in a very real, solidly certain fashion. It's gotten to the point where I've browsed the Humane Society's website on more than one occasion for a cat to adopt. 

-I worry about what other people think of me to the point of obsession, and I'm almost always afraid I'm boring.