happiness

On gratitude and pumpkin spice.

I really need to work on noticing and actively appreciating all the wonderful little things that happen in my life from day to day – happy moments, spontaneous adventures, funny interludes, whatever. It’s such a necessary and impactful mindset shift for me – flipping from the stressed, harried getting-by of a day into this silver-lined, rose-colored glass-half-full perspective is always a good thing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the kindness of others since my adventure with the hydrangeas at Safeway, and today brought another random act of kindness my way. It’s year-end at work, and it’s been a frantic, rushed and demanding few weeks for me. One of the perks of year-end, however, is team coffee…we take turns collecting everyone’s orders, running to the closest Starbucks, and bringing back much-needed caffeine (and warmth – our office is glacial).

Today, my order accidentally got skipped in the ordering process, and I was crushed on the inside – the mid-day jolt has come to be something I look forward to all morning. Not one to make a big deal out of things like this, I went into a meeting in the one conference room in our building that is notorious for hovering around 62 degrees. An hour later I emerged, so cold my fingernails had turned that gross gray-blue color, to find a piping-hot grande skim no-whip pumpkin spice latte sitting next to my keyboard, courtesy of one of my coworkers. She had gone back to the Starbucks and picked one up for me, timing it to return right before my meeting ended so it would be waiting hot when I was done.

So here I sit, sipping a PSL and warmed all the way through with coffee and gratitude – for people who are willing to do such kind things for me, for the little good fortunes the universe chooses to sprinkle through my life – and I can’t help but be a little bit overwhelmed. I don’t really know how I’ve lucked into a life with such an abundance of riches in it, but I truly am surrounded by so much goodness and kindness and consideration.

I like to think that doing those sorts of things attracts goodness back in turn – I have a long memory (for better or worse), and it takes so very little to earn my perpetual goodwill. It’s too easy, though, to slip into a self-centered mindset where I not only don’t do kind things for others, but don’t always notice and appreciate the patience and kindness others extend to me. So here’s a baby list of things/people/actions for which I am grateful right here, right now:

-          My mama bear for listening with such patience to my regular rants about very technical and ridiculous work scenarios

-          Dave for keeping me fed (healthily, to boot!) and handling the lion’s share of cleaning/chores this week as I’ve entered a monogamous relationship with my laptop

-          My oldest team member, who has taught me a plethora of new tasks with extreme detail and meticulousness in the last few weeks

-          My sister, for always talking Broadway and boys and Bachelor with me despite the hour or randomness

-          Tessa, for teaching me how to text with Friendmojis (Google it, it’s so hilarious!)

-          The random couple at Alpha Acid who let me actually sit down on the floor of the brewery and play with their dog for a solid five minutes

-          My papa bear, for links to libraries of the world, a sense of humor that is the epitome of “dad-ish” and a new set of baby blue luggage for our Italy trip

And here’s how I’m going to pay it forward in the immediate future:

-          Sending snail mail to a few friends with whom a conversation is ridiculously overdue

-          In similar vein, passing a new book along to Wade for the next installment of our Transcontinental Book Club

-          Cleaning our apartment til it sparkles over the weekend

-          Asking and truly listening to how my roommates’ days were, with complete focus and attention

-          Sharing the last few Starbucks Graham K-cups with Dave, who doesn’t know I’ve been hoarding a secret box in the corner of our pantry

-          And, generally, and most importantly, having an overall better attitude, more patience, and a little more kindness toward everyone I come across these days.

 

 

Summer break and a Safeway story.

Hi crew!

It’s been a while and a half, hasn’t it? I decided I was going to take a summer break, primarily because I did the Classic Lizzie Thing in which I totally overload myself with two classes, thirteen discrete projects at work, a slew of visitors in town every weekend, and a social life that has been nothing if not overcommitted. Oh and also trying to go to the gym regularly and get a new car (my lease was up) and plan out the NEXT several months of my life. So some things had to give, and my blog was one of them. Alas! Alors! Anyway!

I’m hopping back in with a happy little moment from yesterday, involving me being a scatterbrain and the world being kinder to me than I deserve. I’ve been a bit homesick lately, after a rough month or two in general, and it was such a great reality check.

It started with a Sunday afternoon trip to my local Safeway, which is generally a mistake. I’m actually coming to think that going to my local Safeway, period, is generally a mistake (someday I’ll tell you all of my passionate love for Trader Joe’s, oh dear). Sunday afternoons at my local Safeway are overcrowded, understaffed, and always frenetic, and I am never at my best when faced with that combination of circumstances. I was also post-gym and pool on this particular Safeway trip, which meant salty hair, minimal makeup, and a “weekend T-shirt” (my designation) of the variety that really shouldn’t see the light of day. This particular “weekend T-shirt” was a just-because gift from my mother with the old Dayton’s department store logo on it. This is relevant, I promise!

After gathering all my ingredients for coconut curry chicken meatballs, Mexican corn, and a week’s worth of salad lunches, I popped the prettiest bunch of perfect white hydrangeas into my cart on a whim. The checkout lines, per usual, were minimum five people deep, so I settled in and whipped my phone out to read while I waited. The guy behind me had different ideas, and struck up a conversation:

“You’re not from Minnesota, by any chance, are you?” he said. I goggled at him, completely dumbfounded. I hadn’t said anything, so the accent hadn’t given me away. I wasn’t wearing any sports gear or anything. So I affirmed, cautiously, “I am – how on earth did you know?”

“It’s your shirt,” he continued, “it’s the Dayton’s logo. I haven’t seen that forever.” And I laughed, and we started the most pleasant conversation about where we were from, how much we missed Minnesota, et cetera. He had just been home at a family cabin on the Whitefish Chain, and he hailed from a suburb right by mine. I was having so much fun chatting with him, in fact, that as I unloaded my cart I completely neglected to grab my hydrangeas out of the child seat basket.

So I got all rung out and the cashier had already started scanning my new friend’s items, and all of a sudden as I was wheeling my cart out of the lane I spotted my flowers. In typical Lizzie form, I spazzed, offered to go to the back of the line, offered to go put them back, and all the while the cashier and bag boy are looking at me like, “what the eff, lady,” which just made me more self-conscious and embarrassed.

My Edina guy, cool as a cucumber, swooped my flowers out of my cart and said, “Don’t worry about it, let me buy your flowers.” Guys, I could feel myself turning beet-red with mortification as I dug through my purse looking for cash to offer him and came up empty-handed. And again, he goes, “It’s no big deal, it’s just a nice thing to do – let me buy a fellow Minnesotan a bouquet, seriously.” And I’m simultaneously utterly charmed and incoherent, so there was much stumbling over words and profuse thanking and bumbling around like a dork.

I’m not sure why this was such a monumental big deal to me. Maybe it’s that I’ve been a little cynical lately about humankind in general and Californians to be specific. This is not the sort of thing that happens here, and I realized that I took all of that very much for granted at home – the door-holding, the bag-carrying, the general demeanor of pleasantness and assiduity. It felt, for just a minute, like I was home and surrounded by people who cared, just a little bit, about making other people’s lives easier and happier and brighter. And that, in that moment, was not only nice, but kind of essential. So we said our goodbyes, and I headed to my car, smelling my hydrangeas all the way and feeling just a little more faith in the goodness of humanity.

remember these things

A few random moments of pure happiness in the last few days: 

- a hallway conversation with our VP of finance, with a heartfelt thank you for illustrating a concept in a way she found revolutionary enough to share with several non-profits she works with...that feeling of total satisfaction in knowing that something I did is still resonating. 

- the half-hour heart-to-heart with Mom en route to work this morning - princess documentaries, Anthropologie, love, fear, and being bold enough to take risks and seek happiness. Continually thankful to have been raised by this woman. 

- leaving Alpha Acid last night with Dave and the bartender, Alex, asking us "see you tomorrow?!" The ultimate moment of feeling like the insiders we're striving to be at our favorite brewery - so frivolously satisfying. 

- nerding out with a new friend about the Met Gala, couture wedding dresses, celebrity idols, and the impending royal wedding. So nice to be developing genuine relationships here. 

- realizing that a year ago yesterday was they day I got my initial Stanford job offer, and taking a moment to truly appreciate the multitude of blessings (there's no other word) I've been granted in the last year of my life. 

 

How nice is it to be happy, and to be consciously, gratefully, intentionally aware that you're happy? 

Things I love online right now...

A few utterly, shamefully frivolous joys in the last 24 hours...

1. This video of a polar bear cub in the UK exploring its home for the first time, which I have watched a couple times and will likely revisit again before the day is over. 

2. Lin-Manuel Miranda and Ben Platt's outrageously gorgeous and moving collab on "Found Tonight," a mashup of songs from "Hamilton" and "Dear Evan Hansen" benefiting the March for Our Lives initiative. Listen to it on Spotify or download it on iTunes, it's just stunning...I may or may not have listened to it all day yesterday (I did). 

3. The @garyjanetti account on Instagram is hilarious, primarily because of his snarky Prince George memes which crack me up every time I see a new one. 

4. RELATED: Prince Harry's wedding is in less than two months and that means it's time for ALL THE STUFF. I just downloaded Katie Nicholl's new book "Harry: Life, Loss, and Love" (That title is so dramatic and I am so here for it), and was ecstatic to see that the hotly-anticipated Lifetime movie biopic "Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance" has a teaser trailer out. I can't wait to drink wine, eat snacks and relentlessly mock this. It reminded me of this delicious recap of the William and Kate Lifetime movie, which I can still not read without truly laughing out loud. 

5. In the "TV I am actually very excited to watch rather than just to mock" lane, we have "Sweetbitter," a STARZ series coming out in May, which is based on a book I couldn't put down last summer and am currently re-reading. Set in a high-end restaurant in NYC, the series looks promising based on the trailer. (Also loving the new "Queer Eye" on Netflix, wanting to re-watch "Mozart in the Jungle [yes, again], and started "Love" on Netflix with Dave a couple weeks ago/never finished...)

6. Finally, someone please block Mark and Graham on all my devices or I will truly fall victim to the "if it's not moving, monogram it" life philosophy. (I do not need a monogrammed striped shirt, I do not need a monogrammed striped shirt......)

Love letters to life.

Remember when I was going to write these posts celebrating the little fun things in the week, and did it ONCE, and then decided I was going to be incredibly lazy and basically stop writing altogether? Right. Time to get back at the gratitude attitude and appreciate all the quotidian occurrences that make my life so incredibly lovely, taken as a whole. 

- achieving peak basic by making (way too many) chocolate-covered strawberries for the "Bachelor" finale 

- getting to snuggle and play with and laugh at our friends' ridiculously, absurdly, over-the-toply adorable Frenchie, Leia (I have never wanted a dog as badly as I want her, I'm not joking.)

- the prettiest and most fragrant "sunset" tulips, from Costco of all places, that have been going strong for almost a week now

- so much great beer with Dave lately, notably Alpha Acid's Barrel Constrictor stouts and some outstanding IPAs

- the kind of view that makes even perennially-frazzled-in-the-mornings me slow down for a minute

 

Other bright spots: a raucous and riotous game of "Cards Against Humanity" with the roommates, the release of the 2018 Minnesota High School All-Hockey Hair Team, a lengthy and long overdue phone date with Hannah, planning trips home and to Oregon in May, and - best of all - looking forward to the next two weeks bringing me BOTH Kaitlin AND Kelsie in the Bay Area!