WOW campers, I am in a HUGE sulk after last night's "Bachelor" finale. Like, "sitting at my desk still grumping and bitching with my coworkers" huge. I am fully aware this is dumb of me, but maybe thoughts to follow. At any rate, let's look at pretty dresses to feel better, shall we?
This is the first year in a very long time that I not only haven't seen a single nominated film, but also didn't actually watch any of the Oscars - we were in the car headed home from an absurdly wonderful weekend skiing Heavenly! I caught up on the red carpet as soon as I got home from work last night (while dipping chocolate-covered strawberries for the aforementioned "Bachelor" finale, BOOOO). Awards season is always so much fun, and I was excited to see what happened on the Oscars red carpet, especially in the wake of the all-black Globes and so many really daring fashion choices since then. A few wins and losses below:
I found myself SO drawn to the bright, bold colors on the red carpet...possibly in reaction to the prevalence of black at shows this season...and I am HERE for Allison Janney killing it in this dress (with gorgeous jewels to boot!).
Also LOVE Leslie Mann's floaty red dream of a ballgown...it's just so deliciously excessive, but that ethereal pattern keeps it looking light instead of bloodbath-adjacent.
I also really went hard for metallics, specifically Gal Godot, whose dress seems like a dance-y, twirly dream (also, hi, that necklace).
I also think this is maybe the best that Jennifer Lawrence has looked in years. Her hair below is making me wish I could pull off blonde (duh I can't, I know that)...but I would love to master that kind of wave. The deconstructed hair and the sexy simplicity of the dress's silhouette make me incredibly happy.
And of course Lupita. HI, goddess. I've been obsessed with her red carpet fashion for years and this didn't let me down...it has a vaguely gladiatorial, warrior-esque vibe to it that seems perfect given her turn in "Black Panther," not to mention the wars being fought in the whole #MeToo #TimesUp arena. I'll never not want her luminous complexion, either.
And finally, Jennifer Garner, who I have loved for years and who is giving some serious "Ben who?" vibes here. HOTTIE.
Maya Rudolph: The costume shop of "The Handmaid's Tale" called, they want their red sexual-repression shroud back.
Andra Day: Marie Antoinette called, she wants her aggressively poufy-and-floral bedspread back.
Salma Hayek: I'm so confused by this. The material looks like something that five-year-old me would've loved in a dress-up costume, and then there's all this cleavage with these HUGE dramatic jewel-y drapes over it? Pick a lane, people.
My other gripe with a lot of the dresses this year is how fussy things seemed, especially on people who usually veer much more toward the streamlined end of the spectrum. I adore Emily Blunt and was not a fan of this high-necked, Swiss-dotted, chiffon-and-lace, Victorian-bodice-ripper-nightgown nightmare. Plus that color washes her out like whoa.
AND FINALLY: LINDSEY VONN DID YOU SECRETLY CONCUSS YOURSELF IN PYEONGCHANG AND NOBODY KNEW? WHAT IS THIS MESS? NO GOLD MEDALS FOR YOU!