A necessary reminder and a good life ethos.

I'm having quite a month, campers - and I've taken a pretty intentional step back from this space as a result (so much for the New Year's resolution to write more, HA). That said, this came up in my Facebook "On This Day" today, and I thought it was worth sharing. It's one of my favorite explanations of priorities: 

"A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll
ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers with a friend."

Auditor PTSD and thoughts from the other side

I just had the most visceral flashback to my EY days and it triggered all sorts of feelings…Stockholm syndrome, PTSD, nostalgia and gratitude, all mixed up in my gut somewhere in the vicinity of the spot that cramped up before I had to go be an auditor every day.

The story? A first-year staff auditor from my company’s chosen audit firm emailed me the most sweetly formal email with a question that was so far off in left field, it wasn’t even really in the same ball game. I took a look at her thoughts/question and remembered that awful, sickening feeling of having to talk to the client on a workpaper I didn’t even remotely understand…that sort of nausea that comes with being so far out of one’s depth. I emailed her back quickly, and she asked to chat. I offered to call her, and she explained: “The cube they have me in doesn’t have a phone – so here’s my cell phone to call me on.”

That right there was where it really started…that feeling of “omg holy shit, I know how you must be feeling and where you’re coming from.” My company is a big-deal client to this Big 4 firm, and I know the staff on it are considered the best and brightest…or they lucked onto it due to serendipitous scheduling. That, to me, was always such a big deal…to be staffed on the “cool” jobs. Then I went into the world of healthcare and insurance audit, and all the jobs were so inherently uncool nobody wanted to be on them at all.

And yet this girl is sitting in some sad cube somewhere in a corner that doesn’t even have a phone in it. It made me think of my least favorite audit room…the one at the big insurance client in the suburbs where the audit room was in the sub-basement. Not even the straight up basement, the basement BELOW the basement. It literally contained a door that opened into the desk chair graveyard. The room itself was tucked under a pair of escalators, and every six seconds or so, one of the escalators would shriek out a whiny squeak. Like clockwork. By the end of the first week, I thought that squeak would make me insane. By the end of the second, I had headphones in almost all day to drown it out. By the end of the third, I didn’t even hear it.

So my boss and I called her on her cell phone, and tried to explain the complex control question she had in terms that wouldn’t totally intimidate a first-year auditor. She talked in circles and questioned herself on the phone repeatedly, and I flashed back to a moment on my first big busy-season job…trying to understand a reserve system when I didn’t even really understand what the reserve in question was for. The woman I was talking to was ex-public herself, and at one point goes, “This is how I would document it: you say blahblahblah and that will be enough to provide adequate explanation in your workpaper.” And I stood at this woman’s desk and wrote it down, as near to verbatim as possible. The workpaper made it through review…but I didn’t necessarily entirely understand what I had reviewed, even then.

As this little staff auditor talked, I felt that bittersweet pang of pity and understanding for where she was coming from, and found myself uttering the same words that the woman at my old client had: “If I were going to document it, I would explain it this way…” before launching into a simplified but comprehensive explanation. Not too wordy, not too technical, but exactly right to outline the question and issue in an appropriate way for an audit workpaper. Her relief was palpable, and the fifteen seconds of silence so predictable…although my non-ex-public boss gave me a look like “What is going on?” with eyebrows raised. Her sudden “I’m sorry, I’m just writing that down” was as familiar and expected to me as oxygen.

We hung up after her profuse thanks, and I knew in my heart that the sweet staff auditor didn’t entirely understand the complicated inter-system process I had distilled for her. I did know, however, that I had been kind and gracious, and hoped that would be a bright spot in a day that, at 2pm, wasn’t even half over. And I almost choked on the memory of ordering 7pm delivery dinner, of the Pavlovian conditioning to hate and fear review notes, of the complete stir-craziness that descended most nights around 10pm, still at client sites. Of managers who gave me nightmares and partners who were distant and inaccessible. Of the morning I woke up at 6am, dry-heaved for two minutes at the stress of having to be an auditor for another day, and went to brush my teeth only to find my toothbrush still wet from the 2:30am bedtime brushing.

Then I thought of how much I’d learned…how to talk to any professional without feeling awkward or juvenile. How the friendships I’d made still last today. I thought of instant-messenger conversations consisting solely of hundreds of GIFs and solidarity. Of managers and partners who genuinely cared that we were learning and having some fun along the way.

While my time in public accounting was definitively traumatic in a lot of ways for me, I looked back in gratitude for how much I’d learned in the two and a half years I spent in that world. Even if given a do-over, I think I’d do it again…wet toothbrushes and reserve accounts aside. Hopefully when this staff auditor looks back in 2, 5, 10, or 15 years, she feels the same way. 

2016 in Review.

2016!! Wait, really quick let me check to make sure nobody else has died and no more demagogues with rampant Twitter addictions have been elected. We're good? Ok. 

2016!!!

I loved 2016. 2016 was my "year of yes," and 2016 kicked ass in so many ways as a result. On our flight home from San Francisco yesterday, my all-time favorite song came on my shuffle, and I found myself dancing in my seat a little bit despite the baby wailing behind me. Because I get profound at this time of year, it blew me away listening to some of the lyrics...words about frenemies, self-doubt, "this whole damn world" falling apart...seems like they somehow knew 2016 was coming from way back in 1998.

The chorus, though, is my favorite: "you've got the music in you." The music in you? This year, for me, that proved true in every way. As cheesy as it sounds, this has been a year of music, joy, and sheer magic in my life - traveling to new and exciting places. Spending the best times with my family. Laughing my ass off with old friends and making such quality new friends. Killing it at work, on my board, and in the Twin Cities social and philanthropic circles I've started to join. I've utterly loved almost every moment. 

Without further ado, a recap: 

Traveled 

Arizona, literally first thing in 2016. We landed only 2 hours into the New Year to attend the Fiesta Bowl in Phoenix, and stuck around for sunshine, palm trees, and a Grand Canyon road trip. All said and done, an awesome way to start the year with some fantastic friends. 

London in February for a busy week of work and teaching trainings, but also for beautiful weather, a weekend of solo exploring and theater, and lots of fun visiting old favorites. That city will always and forever be my favorite place in the world, and a home to me near or far.

Ohio, twice - once for a quick visit in April with my mama bear, and once for Jonathan's graduation! With zero Schwegsibs in the state anymore, I'm sad to be saying goodbye to Miami University and Cincinnati with all her charms in 2017. 

Chicago, a whopping three times...with plenty more to come! From stops at Palmer House and Au Cheval this spring, to Laura's hilarity-and-frosé-soaked birthday weekend, and of course our "Hamilton"palooza in November, the Windy City is capturing my heart now more than ever. With Laura and Em both calling it home, there are sure to be many 2017 trips in my future! 

Iceland with the fam for a few days of stunning exploration...geysers, waterfalls, hiking, lagoon-ing, and general awe at the beauty of the country. 

Sweden, to immerse ourselves in Stockholm's historic charm and warm, open culture! Getting lost in Old Town Gamla Stan, trying the weirdest foods I've ever eaten in Normalm, scoping out sunken Viking ships and taking sailing trips...all with a liberal side helping of wine and my Schwegfam.

Norway, to fall in love with a country harder and faster than I ever have before. Between the enchantment of Oslo and the sheer unmitigated, wild beauty of the western fjords, I foresee Norway being a country I'll visit again for sure. 

South Bend, for my first Notre Dame football game since 2013! With a motley cast of friends and family, I drank plenty of rosé, toasted to Knute Rockne at his grave, paid the Grotto a 2am visit, and celebrated a squeaker of a win over Miami. Love thee Notre Dame, always and forever!

Iowa and Fargo on a crazy weekend road trip with Hal and Matt...barbecue and beer in Decorah before Luther College Christmas, and losing my shit over Fargo's charm and surprising coolness with Michael. Best weekend of spontaneity ever. 

California, for Christmas with my family in wine country. We explored San Francisco, took a Christmas Day walk in Muir Woods, and tasted wine to our hearts' content all over Napa and Sonoma. 

Celebrated

My 27th birthday with a giant party at my old apartment, less than 24 hours after touching down from London. What does a newly-minted late-20s lady do when jet-lagged and trying to party? Double-fist wine and coffee with a healthy side of jello shots, duh. Bonus points to the lovely Erin for braving Minnesota cold to celebrate with us! 

The Kentucky Derby and Labor Day with the Lakeville crew. Things never cease to get crazy with this group, and I've come to love it so much...despite the fairly brutal hangovers that occasionally ensue. Mint juleps and Team Kenya for LIFE. 

Jonathan's graduation, on a frigid weekend in Oxford, OH! Bar-crawling and partying with his frat brothers, freezing our butts off at his commencement ceremony, and topping it all off with a celebratory dinner at Sotto in Cincinnati. So proud of the last of the Schwegman kids!! 

Galas - innumerable galas. From the stunning Diamond Anniversary Ball at the Minnesota Orchestra and the Minnesota Opera's season opener, to benefits for Como Zoo and Feed My Starving Children, this year was black-tie mandatory for me and I loved it. Closing the year down tonight with the Orchestra's New Year's Gala, appropriately! 

Weddings and showers and bachelorettes galore! Mollie and Kellen, Eva and Josh, and Erin and Josie provided ample opportunities to dress up, drink up and celebrate love and marriage. Can't wait for next year's busy wedding season to kick into high gear, starting in just over a month! 

Favorites

Moving in with Hal this May...while both of us are gone so much that our two-bedroom might as well be a one-bedroom, life when we're both around has been even more joyful than expected. Gossiping about work, life, and the future, listening to him sing, and cementing a stronger friendship has been a highlight of 2016.

Yoga! Never would have thought that I'd join the ranks of the Namaste brigade, but after a sunrise session with Hannah at Lake Harriet I've practiced happily (if sporadically). I'm already looking forward to taking classes more regularly as the year turns. 

Bridesmaiding for the first time for Eva's wedding! Spending the better part of the last year planning events with Claire and Kyla was a delight...from the shower and the bachelorette, to shopping for dresses and of course spending the whole weekend of her wedding together, we had an absolute blast. 

Another year immersed in the arts...with over 30 ticketed events in the 2016-2017 seasons, I've seen incredible orchestral performances, taken a dive into the opera world, and fallen in love with the Guthrie all over again. Highlights? Adele in July and, of course, "Hamilton" in November! 

Family

The Eurotrip was the undoubted highlight of the Schwegfam year this year - getting to plan a trip to places none of us had been was a challenge that paid off in spades. With perfect weather, stunning scenery, and an itinerary we carefully collaborated to create, traveling as a family of 5 for the first time since I was in high school created adult memories I'll treasure forever.

Similarly, the Calitrip we just returned from marked a departure from a traditional Christmas at home that we all loved. Refocusing on being present instead of giving each other presents added a completely different dimension to the holiday. Plus, all the wine didn't hurt! 

Jonathan being home for a few extra months over the summer was so fun for my parents and me. We loved having him around to boat, hit up happy hour, and spend quality time together...even if it led to extensive dental repair work ;)

In other sibling news, we celebrated new jobs and new cities for both Emily and Jonathan! September found Emily relocating to Chicago for a role with a different design firm, and Jonathan made the move to Detroit to start his marketing career in November. I miss them both dearly but am so happy that they're each thriving in their new cities and career steps!

In summary: 

"You get what you give" truly is the best way to sum up this year. I gave 2016 everything I had...a true balls to the wall, no holding back, yes-to-everything approach...and what I got back was a year of unparalleled adventures and new experiences. Looking back on the chaos of this year for the world, I think I'll selfishly always remember that, though my life at times looked just as chaotic, this year was one in which I gave it my all, and got back a year for the record books. 

For more highlights, press play (and giggle at my oh-so-topical song choice)!

a quick and dirty giving of thanks

As screwy as 2016 has been for the universe at large, it's been pretty good to me thus far. I'm sitting here, coffee cup at hand, surrounded by my Schwegfam, as I think back over the myriad gifts this year has held. 

First and foremost, as always, I'm thankful for these five crazies. My family is the best, and my best (and some of my worst!) memories this year were all made with them. From Jonathan's graduation to spontaneous happy hours and dinners with my parents...cracking my teeth out of my mouth to living it up in Chicago with my very own "Schuyler Sisters"...and naturally our very random and extensive family group text, these four never cease to add color and laughter to my world.

Highlight? Ten days together taking on Scandinavia. Can't wait to continue the Schwegmanigans next month in wine country!

Naturally, the friends who feel like family can't go unsung. The circle of people I've surrounded myself with sure feels like a constant win, and watching that circle expand this year has been incredibly special.

This Thanksgiving, I hope every one of you knows what you mean to me - near or far, new or old - I'm deeply grateful for our inside jokes, random adventures, and most significantly the continual joy and support each of you brings to my life. 

Finally, your de rigeur political commentary for the day: I'm thankful that we live in a country and in a world where I believe civil discourse, thoughtful activism, and intelligent, informed commentary on the issues we face will win out in the end.

The people in my life are all so gifted, articulate and passionate - if we all continue to use our gifts and voices and passions to work for good, no amount of bigotry, ignorance or fear-mongering can win out in the end. 

Other, much more random things I'm thankful for: 

-champagne, always and forever

-Joe Biden memes

-"Hamilton"

-the plethora of puppies and babies in my life lately

-black tie galas

-an almost-over Notre Dame football dumpster fire...er, season

-the obscene amount of stuffing I'm planning to stuff my face with tonight 

Happy Thanksgiving, campers. Love you all and hope you have just as much to be thankful for as I do this season!

101 in 1001 #47: Sign a petition for a cause I care about.

Hi guys. 

I don't talk politics as a general rule, but I think this is too important not to share. In the wake of last week's election results, the level of outright horrifying stories of racism, sexism, and xenophobia hitting the media has left me with a continual sense of disgust and pessimism about where we're headed as a nation. While I've refrained from chiming in, watching my friends in groups that have been attacked or called out by our president-elect discuss their thoughts, fears and apprehension on social media has opened my eyes and made me wonder what I can do to help out, even in the smallest way. 

All politics aside, nobody deserves to feel afraid, ostracized or endangered going about their day-to-day lives in this country, or anywhere for that matter. As such, when my fantastic friend and fellow piccolo alum, Colleen, shared this letter on Facebook, I was compelled to sign, 

Notre Dame has a long history of supporting human rights and doing what is right instead of what is expeditious or popular. My four years there were a cocoon of safety, freedom and openness that I think every ND student deserves, regardless of race, religion, sex or creed...or legal immigration status. Though I believe that immigration reform is critically important, creating a culture of fear and hostility is not the approach to fix a broken system. As such, I was proud to sign the petition so articulately presented by members of the Notre Dame community to designate my beloved campus as a sanctuary. See much more articulate/well-expressed excerpts below: 

The hundreds of signatures the petition has garnered in just hours makes me proud to be part of a community that supports human rights and believes in being an agent for change and acceptance. 

Notre Dame also held an interfaith prayer service on Monday, closed to media, to foster unity in light of the divisiveness being spewed lately. I really loved the coverage posted by WSBT...it restored a little of my faith in our generation and the world at large. 

For my ND-affiliated friends, the petition can be accessed and signed here. Even if you're not a Notre Dame grad, feel free to sign to show your support. As always, love thee Notre Dame! 

For more 101 in 1001, head here.