Last Friday, Kelsie and I went wild.
Literally and figuratively.
We joined my parents for "Adult Night at the Zoo," an after-hours event with alcohol and all-over access to the zoo's exhibits. And it was an absolute riot. The Minnesota Zoo does Adult Night every month during the summer...and since Jodester has wanted to go to the zoo for months, we decided there was no better way to enjoy it than with adult beverages in hand!
Clearly, I was unduly excited about the prospect of alcohol and animals. As soon as we arrived, we waited in an absurdly long line for wine and hit the Northern Trail, where we saw ALL THE BABIES. Namely, this baby takin:
Please don't ask me what a takin is. We also saw this baby camel:
...and Richard proceeded to make MANY humps/humping/cameltoe jokes. I have to say, highlight/official MVP of Adult Night at the Zoo was unequivocally my papa bear, who seemed to have some kind of off-color color commentary for every single animal in the place...or a totally epic story. Case in point: grizzly encounters while deep-sea fishing in Alaska, up-close and personal wolves/coyotes on man trips in northern Minnesota, the usual, you know. He got really into this turkey, for instance:
It is clearly mating season, as this turkey was putting the MOVES on two lady-turkeys hanging out in his general vicinity. Dick's narration of said moves left me, Kels, and two or three other random passers-by laughing so hard I almost peed a little. He is officially my new favorite standup-comedy-wildlife-expert.
Now the fun starts: As soon as we finished the Northern Trail, we headed inside to replenish our wine, and found ourselves facing down a twenty-minute wait alcohol wait. (Tip for next time, MN Zoo: MORE BARTENDERS!) In continuing epic fashion, as soon as we got to the front of the line, Papa Bear ordered us all "doubles," which ended up looking like this:
These are Solo Cups, and they are filled to the brim with wine. We hadn't eaten anything, and we were pouring the chardonnay back hard. Recipe for a really awesome trip down the Minnesota Trail...
Dick was feeling stealthy. I, on the other hand, was just feeling all the Chardonnay.
The Minnesota Trail officially earned the #1 spot in Dad's heart as soon as he could settle in an Adirondack and pretend he was at the cabin. Looks like a pro, no?
On the Minnesota Trail we encountered lynx, a wolverine (MUCK FICHIGAN), and this wolf who, along with his brothers and sisters, basically prowled around the fence looking at us like he wanted to have us for dinner.
From the Minnesota Trail, with wine STILL in tow, we headed to Tropics Trail, where, among other things, I smiled at a crocodile...
I talked to some flamingos...
We admired this leopard shark, and then found Nemo...
...and Richard's night was made by this sight. Honestly, I'm lucky I had Jodester around while growing up or else who knows how I would've turned out....
Color commentary from Dick on this one: "God, slowest sex act ever." Good thing they're cute and fun, otherwise I wouldn't be able to take them anywhere.
You know who else is cute and fun? Kels and me. I loved our "inner circle" date! So glad I have friends who can handle my family and a family that has embraced my friends so wholeheartedly. I'm a damn lucky girl.
