Apparently fall brings out my inner basic bitch in a big way. I've been Instagramming autumn leaves like it's my job, my Keurig coffee has been pumpkin spice-flavored since around Labor Day, and I'm rocking flannels, puffer vests, and riding boots at every possible opportunity. What better way to cap off every basic lady's favorite season than by carving a pumpkin?
It's been years since I last carved pumpkins (in Baltimore with Kaitlin in September of 2013!), and I think I must have forgotten just how involved the process is. Last Saturday, Kelsie supplied two pumpkins - Hy-Vee's finest! - and I picked up carving kits at the downtown Target. Problem: Target's selection was so picked over that I ended up with this as my only option:
No, I'm totally 27. I promise. Since it was such a gorgeous day yesterday, we set up out on the roof of my building...carving kits, garbage bags, giant knife, and...most importantly...a variety of pumpkin beers to taste-test in tow!
Kels had picked up one short, fat pumpkin and one tall, skinny pumpkin, so we quickly picked out patterns and pumpkins that would work. Then we seriously struggled to get the pumpkins' lids' cut and to gut the things...for some reason, the pumpkins we had were like two inches thick and impossible to cut through! Poor Kels's lid wouldn't come out, then we cut it more and it fell right through the pumpkin. I almost hit myself in the face trying to get my lid out, and by the time my pumpkin was cleaned out, had more guts on me than in the garbage bag. Misadventures abounded, campers. Fortunately, we had cracked beer at this point...I can't recommend having beer handy while carving pumpkins more highly. (For the record, we preferred the Ichabod Pumpkin Ale over the Lakefront Brewery pumpkin beer pictured below...but liked Summit's most recent Unchained series better than both!)
As for what we carved...I was going to try to freehand a Hamilton pumpkin at first, but quickly rethought it when all my template drawings looked like a dude flipping the middle finger. Artist, I am not...and let's be real, my "Hamilton" obsession needs no more fuel! Kels did a bat, I did a ghost. Thank goodness for the pokey-hole pumpkin patterns...although it is seriously hard to get the papers to lie flat on the pumpkins to poke! We came up with the brilliant idea of pumpkin-carving kits on Saran wrap-type material. I think we'll be millionaires someday.
After poking, we got to carving...and I remembered why I never carve pumpkins. It's really hard! It's not necessarily that enjoyable! Pumpkin guts are slimy! Pumpkin patterns are detailed! My artistic ability is VERY limited! My ghost ended up with very close-together, VERY different-sized eyes...
...and very pointy elbows and a very weirdly-shaped lower body, haha. Kelsie's bat turned out much cuter than my poor little ghost! That said...we were both pretty glad to be done as soon as we were. Let's just say that we realized about midway through why the "two triangles for eyes and a toothy jagged mouth" look is so popular for pumpkins!
That said...pretty proud of my little guy. THAT said...pretty sure I won't be carving pumpkins again until I have kids and a reason to do so!
Basic bitch fall checklist: well underway. As for my 101 in 1001...plenty more fun to be had soon! Check it out here, and here's to having random, hilarity-infused adventures!