6 critically important Mexico tips.

That didn't make it into the last post!

1. If you are going to a secluded, stunning, all-inclusive resort in Mexico, note one thing that is 99% for sure NOT included in your all-inclusive: sunscreen. Ellie brought 2 small tubes, Kels brought a couple cans and I brought three aerosol spray screens. Ellie planned to buy more at the resort. Until the resort slapped her proverbially across her pale Irish face with the $34 price tag for one tiny bottle!! And that's American dollars, not pesos, amigos. PSA: CHECK A BAG AND BRING YO' OWN SCREEN.

2.  The very best thing to do when poolside-wasted at 4pm in Mexico is to leave the pool (so you don't accidentally drunk-pee in it), take foot selfies and face selfies in your patio's hammock, then go take a shower and go to bed really, really early. 


3. If you have always had a burning desire to learn to dance, by all means befriend the resort's resident dance dude. You will come home with a sweet, sweet smooth choreographed routine that you and all your friends can bust out at the clubs whenever you feel like it. Hair-tossing optional. 

4. When on vacation in a foreign locale, become one with the locals. This means, mostly, the golf cart drivers who drive very, very fast and frighten you, the wild cats that hide in the bushes on the way to the spa, and, of course, the plethora of resort iguanas. We named all the men Iggy and all the girls Azalea, because we're crazy-clever like that. 

5. We learned about a lovely new shot this week. It's called a "Shit on the Grass," and entails either Midori and vanilla vodka, or peppermint schnapps and Bailey's, topped with a tiny dollop of Hershey's so it looks like...well...a shit on the grass. We took them in the pool with new friends we made because of one gentleman's Cretin-Derham Hall t-shirt. Said friends proceeded to become our poolside besties.

6. This probably goes without saying, but when in doubt, double-fist.